Changes.

Things need to change, and it's not going to be pleasant at first.
Have you ever kinda woke up to see that your life isn't what you would like it to be? You've just been living your life and doing things without really paying attention HOW you're living and doing things...with rising anxiety. Well mine is pretty much coming to it's peak, so I've decided to make some re-evaluations.

The problems are, that it feels like I never have the time or energy to do things I feel would need to be done, like cleaning, exercising, and taking care of the dogs properly. There are multiple reasons why things are like this and I'm going to try to tackle every one of them.

This is my holy list of changes:

- First and foremost I need to cut back on using the internet. The main reason why I never feel like I don't have time for anything is this little rectangle black machine! I have a new rule, I'm allowed to check my Facebook account twice a week...and boy is that going to be hard! I'm way too addicted to it, checking it every five minutes or even more often when I'm at home, or even when I'm visiting someone. I calculated that when I limit my internet time to twice a week instead of everyday I save up to 21hours a week!!! 21hours! That's almost a whole day...that will leave me with plenty of time to do all the other things I'm planning to do.

- The second thing has to do with sleeping. If I want to be more energetic I need to sleep enough, go to bed earlier and wake up earlier. So bed time on a normal night (means I'm just hanging at home not doing anything special: going out with someone or something) is 11pm. I usually go to work at 12pm so if I wake up at 8am that would mean I have 3,5 hours of active time in the mornings before I need to go to work...and I still have slept for 9 hours. Not a bad deal at all.
The problem with this is that I'm not a morning person...really, I'm not. So if this proves to be too difficult I'll make some compromises with this one, or else I'll be really annoyed...all the time. But I'll try to make it work!

- No energy drinks. NONE. They are bad for me, and they cost a lot of money and are addicting. I drink approximately 1 energy drink a day. One costs around 2,5euros. That costs me 75,00 euros a month. Ridicilous, absolutely ridicilous. This is an easy thing to do, I'll just think about the 75 euros every time I feel like buying one.

- Remember my post around Christmas, where I promised to lose 5 kilos? Well I did promise that...but no I haven't lost the weight. I had a good start, but then life came and changed everything and whoooops I've actually almost gain 5 kilos. I haven't felt this dissapointed in myself for a long time, or been bothered about my looks this much either since my eating disorder times. My eating habits have spinned out of control, which have made my body crave for fatty foods, sugar and salt all the time. I don't have any idea how much weight I'd like to lose, my goal is to get my eating habits back to normal and if (sure I will) I lose some weight in the meantime that's good, but I'm not going to stare at the scale. My body mass index is at 23,2 which is the highest I've ever been at, so now it's time to take action. I'm still in the normal zone of BMI but with this rate, won't be for long. The way I look and feel, has a huge impact on the way I feel so this change is a very imporatnt one. It's going to make me more healthy and happier at the same time.

- Exercise. Haven't done that much either lately. With that 75 euros I'll save from the energy drinks I'm going to start going to the gym again. Once a week at least. I don't wan't to push myself with this too much or I'll be put out of it immediately. I'll buy the gym card again and see how I'll manage with it. Once now and again is better than never, right?
When most of the snow has melted I'll start running with Jazz again(my other dog). That way I'll give Jazz the exercise he needs and do something myself too. Perfect. I used to hate running but now I have grown to like it, so that's a good exercise form for me. My goal is to do something 6 days a week + walk the dogs everyday. Walking the dogs isn't really exercising for me so I can easily add a bit of hooping to a day easily.(Again I'm talking about "normal" days when I'm mostly at work and at home, a girl needs to have fun too ;)) And hooping will make me happy!

- Money. I don't know how to spend my money in a way I won't end up living on the streets in 5 years. If I don't manage now when I'm still working, what's it going to be like when I'm in school...don't even want to think about it really.
I have this habitof not opening my post. That means I don't know about my bills or important letters. The reason why I don't open them strait away is, that way I can pretend they are not there. If I don't open them I might not have to pay them...how clever. Wonder why it hasn't worked out yet,not even once?? Yes, so, I need to start organizing my money and bills, properly. That way I don't need to feel agitated all the time about money issues, and maybe I would have more money left eventually, to eat properly for example. Budget is the word of the hour.

Those are the main things I'm tackling with. I believe that if I get most of those in to order, other things will start to solve themselves. If I have more energy, and feel better about myself, don't have to worry about money issues so much, I'll be overall happier and that will affect every aspect of my life. What a lovely thought, isn't it?
I'm hoping I'll stick to this plan and get my rainbow after the rain. :)

First Aid Kit

Then in to something completely different...I wen't to a gig in the Club Tavastia last Thursday. I'm still over the moon after it!! I wen't to see two Swedish sister sing...they are called First Aid Kit. One of the most uplifting and ispiring gigs I've ever been at!

These two sisters are only 19 and 16 years old. They scream talent!
This is one of my favourite songs of theirs...this band is my new love. :D

Hope you all have a nice week!

Important day.

My very very dear friend is having a baby today. Actually she's having it right now as I'm writing. ..
I feel like I should be doing something for her, but sure I realize there's nothing I can do and it's driving me crazy! Having a baby is something that friends are not that much involved in, untill things have settled down a bit inside the FAMILY. They are a family now...a "real family". That's a mind blowing thought, and at the same time I'm so happy and proud that I might burst soon!!

Now I'm just anxiously waiting for news! Only thing I know is a sms I got 7am in the morning saying : It's showtime.
I'm leaving to England on monday, so I'm hoping I'll be able to see the baby and especially my new mom friend this weekend, or I'll be very sad...
This is big! The biggest thing that's happened to one of my close friends ever...I'm wishing them lot's of happines and joy. And I'm very happy that I'll be able to be apart of someones life from the beginning. <3 12.3. will be a very important day from now on.



I also made a couple of new ribbons this week! I'm loving them...they turned out quite nice, didn't they!? That pirate one is hilarious. A friend of mine at work, had found a cat mouse from the store without the other eye, so she had an idea to make it a pirate mouse with an eyepatch! I loved the idea straight away so here we are, a pirate mouse with it's treasure on a ribbon..haha



The other one I came up with, when I was going through my old jewellery for the pirate ribbon. I found that purple brooch, and wanted to use it for something...
That "SHHH..." is there for fun :D There's no point in it...






Ps. That's my new bag...!!

Vuosaari

Vuotie

...yes that's where I'm moving next Thuesday. I've always had the impression that Vuosaari is one of the s*itholes in Helsinki. But you know the irony is that I'm forced to move there now. Well I'd rather be there than in the middle of nowhere in Espoo where I was originaly planning to move during the time of my renovation.

To releive my anghuish I decided to do a little Vuosaari excursion in the internet, and what I found really surprised me! It might not be that shitty afterall....or I'm just trying to tell that to myself to make me feel better. Well anyway, this is what I found:

First of all Vuosaari has it's own website(I learned that so does every other district...didn't know that before), it can be viewed here. Vuosaari has it's own beach, multiple parks, Metro goes there(we'll it's the last stop) and there are lot's of old buildings there which really surprises me. I've been under the impression that it has only new horrible ugly buildings.There are two manor houses in the area(2!!) and the parks surrounding them should be nice. Miina Äkkijyrkkä a well known Finnish artist lives there, allthough she just got evicted from her farm a little while ago, but I think she's still there with her cows. She's know for making art only from cows. Quite strange and great at the same time!

The website is full of things to try and do, so I decided to make my time there as interesting as possible. I try to do something new every week. Who knows maybe I fall in love with Vuosaari and never wan't to leave anymore...doubt it.

When I get my camera working again...it BROKE!...I'll take it with me and go and see all the wonders of this "city by the sea". I might even enjoy myself, if I try really hard!