Feelgood

Flowouwouwouwwwww!!

The first artist line-up was published today...

TAKE A LOOK AT THIS LIST!!

LIVE:

M.I.A. (SRI/UK)
The xx (UK)
Air (FRA)
Jónsi / Sigur Rós (ISL)
Marina And The Diamonds (UK)
Jimi Tenor & Tony Allen: Inspiration Information (FI//NGR)
Ulver (NOR)
The Drums (US)
Beach House (US)
Surfer Blood (US)
Girls (US)
Radio Dept. (SWE)
Timo Lassy Orchestra w/ José James (FI/US)
Omar Souleyman (SYR)
Ballaké Sissoko (MLI)
Villa Nah (FI)
Husky Rescue (FI)
Ricky-Tick Big Band (FI)
Ville Leinonen & Majakan Soittokunta (FI)
Yona & Liikkuvat Pilvet (FI)
Kiki Pau (FI)

And these are just the first one's to be announced 0_O
I NEED to go!! Now I'll just have to wait for the timetables...to see if I can get out of work...'cause I guarantee you that I'm not the only one that want's to go ;) I can't wait, I'm so excited!!! Flow = love

Changes.

Things need to change, and it's not going to be pleasant at first.
Have you ever kinda woke up to see that your life isn't what you would like it to be? You've just been living your life and doing things without really paying attention HOW you're living and doing things...with rising anxiety. Well mine is pretty much coming to it's peak, so I've decided to make some re-evaluations.

The problems are, that it feels like I never have the time or energy to do things I feel would need to be done, like cleaning, exercising, and taking care of the dogs properly. There are multiple reasons why things are like this and I'm going to try to tackle every one of them.

This is my holy list of changes:

- First and foremost I need to cut back on using the internet. The main reason why I never feel like I don't have time for anything is this little rectangle black machine! I have a new rule, I'm allowed to check my Facebook account twice a week...and boy is that going to be hard! I'm way too addicted to it, checking it every five minutes or even more often when I'm at home, or even when I'm visiting someone. I calculated that when I limit my internet time to twice a week instead of everyday I save up to 21hours a week!!! 21hours! That's almost a whole day...that will leave me with plenty of time to do all the other things I'm planning to do.

- The second thing has to do with sleeping. If I want to be more energetic I need to sleep enough, go to bed earlier and wake up earlier. So bed time on a normal night (means I'm just hanging at home not doing anything special: going out with someone or something) is 11pm. I usually go to work at 12pm so if I wake up at 8am that would mean I have 3,5 hours of active time in the mornings before I need to go to work...and I still have slept for 9 hours. Not a bad deal at all.
The problem with this is that I'm not a morning person...really, I'm not. So if this proves to be too difficult I'll make some compromises with this one, or else I'll be really annoyed...all the time. But I'll try to make it work!

- No energy drinks. NONE. They are bad for me, and they cost a lot of money and are addicting. I drink approximately 1 energy drink a day. One costs around 2,5euros. That costs me 75,00 euros a month. Ridicilous, absolutely ridicilous. This is an easy thing to do, I'll just think about the 75 euros every time I feel like buying one.

- Remember my post around Christmas, where I promised to lose 5 kilos? Well I did promise that...but no I haven't lost the weight. I had a good start, but then life came and changed everything and whoooops I've actually almost gain 5 kilos. I haven't felt this dissapointed in myself for a long time, or been bothered about my looks this much either since my eating disorder times. My eating habits have spinned out of control, which have made my body crave for fatty foods, sugar and salt all the time. I don't have any idea how much weight I'd like to lose, my goal is to get my eating habits back to normal and if (sure I will) I lose some weight in the meantime that's good, but I'm not going to stare at the scale. My body mass index is at 23,2 which is the highest I've ever been at, so now it's time to take action. I'm still in the normal zone of BMI but with this rate, won't be for long. The way I look and feel, has a huge impact on the way I feel so this change is a very imporatnt one. It's going to make me more healthy and happier at the same time.

- Exercise. Haven't done that much either lately. With that 75 euros I'll save from the energy drinks I'm going to start going to the gym again. Once a week at least. I don't wan't to push myself with this too much or I'll be put out of it immediately. I'll buy the gym card again and see how I'll manage with it. Once now and again is better than never, right?
When most of the snow has melted I'll start running with Jazz again(my other dog). That way I'll give Jazz the exercise he needs and do something myself too. Perfect. I used to hate running but now I have grown to like it, so that's a good exercise form for me. My goal is to do something 6 days a week + walk the dogs everyday. Walking the dogs isn't really exercising for me so I can easily add a bit of hooping to a day easily.(Again I'm talking about "normal" days when I'm mostly at work and at home, a girl needs to have fun too ;)) And hooping will make me happy!

- Money. I don't know how to spend my money in a way I won't end up living on the streets in 5 years. If I don't manage now when I'm still working, what's it going to be like when I'm in school...don't even want to think about it really.
I have this habitof not opening my post. That means I don't know about my bills or important letters. The reason why I don't open them strait away is, that way I can pretend they are not there. If I don't open them I might not have to pay them...how clever. Wonder why it hasn't worked out yet,not even once?? Yes, so, I need to start organizing my money and bills, properly. That way I don't need to feel agitated all the time about money issues, and maybe I would have more money left eventually, to eat properly for example. Budget is the word of the hour.

Those are the main things I'm tackling with. I believe that if I get most of those in to order, other things will start to solve themselves. If I have more energy, and feel better about myself, don't have to worry about money issues so much, I'll be overall happier and that will affect every aspect of my life. What a lovely thought, isn't it?
I'm hoping I'll stick to this plan and get my rainbow after the rain. :)

First Aid Kit

Then in to something completely different...I wen't to a gig in the Club Tavastia last Thursday. I'm still over the moon after it!! I wen't to see two Swedish sister sing...they are called First Aid Kit. One of the most uplifting and ispiring gigs I've ever been at!

These two sisters are only 19 and 16 years old. They scream talent!
This is one of my favourite songs of theirs...this band is my new love. :D

Hope you all have a nice week!

United Kingdom

All pics by me.

I went to England and came back. Like always, it was exactly what I needed. When ever I feel overwhelmed about my life, or have far too much things going on(mainly in my head), all I need to do is to go to England to visit my sister.


I went to the Helsinki-Vantaa airport really early so I could have my breakfast there. It has become a little routine of mine that I want to go through everytime. I love the airport atmosphere. I love looking at people on their holiday moods, or with their laptops, looking really important flying to a business meeting somewhere in Europe.

I bought a book from the airport, that I started in the plane, and ended on my way back. I recommend it to everyone! It's been a long time since a book has got me this excited about reading! It's called "The truth about Melody Browne" and it's written by Lisa Jewell. It was a random pick, I just went to the bookstore looked at the top 10 list and picked out the one that had the nicest looking cover. Read it!! It's a book you can't put down even if you wanted to...I read it every night before going to sleep, and I never wanted to stop. No matter how tired I was I tried to read it atleast one eye open. So go and find it, read it.


One thing I have to say about Finnish people at airports is...about queuing.
Easy Jet (that I use, 'cause it ridicilously cheap!!100€ round trip to the UK and back) has this boarding system at the gate where they ask passengers to board in groups. You get to know your group at the check-in desk. They announce about that system at the gate...every time. They are very specific about how the boarding will proceed. First Speedy Boarding pass holders, then parents traveling with kids, then group A and B and so on. Simple, right?

But what does the Finns do...EVERYTIME. Right the second they hear the first word of the announcement that might indicate that it's time to board the plane, they get up and go for a que. No one listens to what the flight attendand is saying, they just push and shove around and stand in a que. Then they stand there for half an hour or more for no reason. Why is that?? Why are Finns like that? I'm sure no one believes that they will be left out from the plane if they don't stand in a que straight away...or is it about that they are afraid they won't get good seats in the plane?(Easy Jet has free seating) It can't be that either 'cause even though how hard they que they won't be let in the plane before it's their groups time to board!! I'm ridicilously annyoed everytime I have to watch this happen! You'd think it's not my problem, and it isn't but as it happens everytime, it's strated to annoy me more and more and yet some more. I feel like shouting at them, to tell them to go and SIT BACK DOWN!!! Haven't done that yet...but with this rate I will someday :D.


When we landed to the Gatwick airport, my sister was there waiting for me with their two kids. E is 3 years old and H is 1 year old. Can't help but love them. They are one of the most innovative, active and well-behaved little girls. A credit to their parents.


My holiday consisted mainly of food, walking around, playing with the children and taking pics. My goal was to relax and forget my life for a while. No internet, no phone no nothing. Just the English air and my sister and her family. Absolutely fabulous.

Covent Garden Market

My sister lives in Maindenhead, which is located on the west side of London, 20 minutes by train to the Paddington Station. We were supposed to go to National Photography Gallery in London, but when we got there, there was a note on the door saying the exhibition had moved to another location. We had the children with us so we really didn't wan't to go and look for it...as it turned out to be quite far away. We had just came by train and bus and the kids were really fed up with all the traveling so we had to come up with something else. Fortunately I had seen an add about an Irving Penn exhibition in the London Portrait Gallery! I had thought to myself that maybe I would have wanted to go there instead anyway, so I was happy that we were only a block away from the Portrait Gallery so we decided to go there!

Irving Penn is my new idol. He's done work to Vogue since 1940's. He's other work is amazing too. He's got a style of his own that makes his work very recognizable. I walked through the exhibition with my jaw dropped to the groung, stars and hearts flying from my eyes...great work.
I got really ispired of his work...so now I've got many new photography ideas that I can't wait to try! Just need to find the right models for them!

I bought a poster of one of his photographs. Now I need to get it framed, then I'll always have a piece of him hanging on my wall. One of my favourite pics of his was about Truman Capote, it's not the one I got, since they didn't have it (and I couldn't find it in the internet) but THIS gives a good idea about what his work is like.



Otherwise I spent time on the sofa, reading books to the children, blowing soap bubbles outside and soaking in the sun and warmth of the English spring.


Other place worth mentioning, that we visited, is a National Trust owned manor house called Cliveden. It has been used as a hunting "hut"...a real hut or cottage indeed...it was HUGE. We walked around the gardens (there were many) and the next day me and my sister went for a high tea inside the house. A proper afternoon tea. I'm so sorry that I didn't bring my camera with me there...I thought it wouldn't be appropriate 'cause my camera is so big and clumsy. But now I regret it...the house was so awesome! The carpets, paintings, furniture, chandeliers and everything else was pure magic. I could see and hear the history of the place..see how the people living in the house have looked like, what they've done there. Maybe sat by the fire doing some nitting in their gorgeous gownds and posh wigs.

And there we were, drinking tea, eating finger breads and skons with clotted cream and jam just like they have, a few hundred years ago. Marvellous.



I think I'll never get bored of going to England. There's something about the atmosphere there that makes me feel like I'm home everytime. It's good to have a place like that.


Rest of the pics can be found here: click click.
My suggestion is that you put it on Slideshow and listen to "Oasis - Wonderwall" while watching.

How much do you cost?

I'm going to be sold tomorrow...literally.
I'm one of the singles beeing auctioned off in a singles auction this saturday! It's all for charity...and a the best joke for a while! :D There was no reason not to say yes when I was nominated. Should be great fun!

The bidding starts from 1 euro, so no sky high prices to come, or I need MANY bidders. But every penny for charity is better than nothing. I've "hired" friends to bid for me, if A) there's some scary heavy-metal Finn bidding on me B) if no one is bidding!
Here's the link to the event on Facebook.

And here's my "add" (By S)

ANNIKA

"Hei, olen Annika. Paitsi että olen Annika, olen myös impulsiivinen, hauska, sarkastinen, paniikkinen, järkevä, itsenäinen, älytön ja ehkä aavistuksen vinksallaan. Minulla on käytöstavat tilanteen mukaan joko hallussa tai hukassa, mutta yritän aina parhaani. Jos jotain tarkempia speksejä kaivataan, niin lähdetään vaikka siitä, että olen 24-vuotias. Loput saat selvittää itse. ♥"

And roughly translated it goes something like this:

"Hi I'm Annika. And besides beeing Annika I'm, impulsive,funny,sarcastic,panicy,sensible,independent, mad and slightly crooked. Sometimes I've got manners, sometimes not, but I always try my best. If more detailed info is needed let's start with the fact that I'm 24 years old. The rest you need to find out yourself.♥"

S sure knows what she's talking about...she's right on! I'd buy myself based on this add, so it must be good :D Wish me luck and lot's of money to charity! Exciting!

V-day

Valentine's day...what a lovely and perfect reason to go out with great company!
S cut me a new hairdo too, so there's one more reason to go and have a little fun out in the city...isn't it!

My friend E took some hilarious photos when we were at my place...thanks for the lovely company everyone, like always I enjoyed myself <3 Like said earlier, most pics are by E but there are few taken by me also.

Click click.

Ps. I'm the blonde without the glasses...check out my new hair! Love IT!

Needs.

...among other things. Here's a quick list, I need to sum these things up.
I need:

- Yellow Converse
- Money
- More time
- Creativity
- Photography
- Sanity
- At least 3 new dresses
- Few sneakers, in silver and in some other bright color
- High heels
- to get away from Finland for a while
- Love
- To see my friends more
- Hoop hoop more
- Excersise
- New furniture
- Summer!
- My bike
- I need a lot of things :D

Can you feel it?

I can.
Check this out, then you know if you can...click click.

One word baby; curiosity.

That's what we all should learn, me at least for sure! Fear is something that can make ones life almost impossible to live happily ever after. Just think about it, if Snow white hadn't bite that toxic apple she maybe would never have met her prince charming! What an irony, something poisonous can be good for you...oh Disney where would we be without you!

But seriously, I've been thinking about fears today.
We had this intern at our store for a month or so...she was slow, nervous, unshure of herself but she tried her best. She was really bad. Like seriously she was BAD. But still she tried, she took my critiques (I was kind) and carried on. I could see that everytime I talked to her (not with her 'cause the only thing she said back was yes, yes, yes, okey, yes , I know, yeess) she tensed up and really wasn't comfortable talking to me 'cause she thought I'd tell her she'd done something wrong again...(and yes I was kind!)

Still she kept on pushing, kept on trying to be better, and we did see some progress in her just before her internship ended. All I could think about is how embarassing it must have been for her to sit there and listen to me telling her teacher, at the last evaluation, what she had done wrong, what had been her low points...because there really wasn't that much good to say. But those things needed to be said...that's the only way she could benefit from her mistakes. And boy did she try the next day after that! She was with the customers like a pro(well not really but way better than before that) and she really really tried to be brave and speak up her mind about things, which she hadn't done before!
How brave is that...to be humiliated almost everyday in some way, but still go on and push forward. She wasn't stylish, she wasn't pretty or witty (hah a poem) and she couldn't do a lot of things right but she had a lot more things going on in her life than I am! She was brave.

Fear is the thing that's making me hang in this standstill "phase". How does one learn to say things that need to be said, or do what need to be done without beeing scared of the possible (bad)things that might follow?
Being curious. That's the answer.(or atleast that's what I'm letting myself believe) Like the first pic says, Replace fear with curiosity...let curiosity take over and soon you'll wake up to new things before you even know it! I need to start pushing my self more in to beeing even more interested in the things that feel worth it, explore more, be curious! I won't die of humiliation or screwing up.(Or only just for a moment..)
Then I'll just get up and carry on with my chin down towards new dissapointments! Who knows maybe I'll find something good on the way there, I just need to be curious enough to look under each stone...(what a cliché hah).

And I'm on my way to curiosity already! I'm traveling to Istanbul with a friend of mine...that's something to be scared about, a blonde in Turkey..o-ouuu. But I am curious to see how it goes. ;)

Mark Ryden

"Yoshi" from www.markryden.com

Check it out!
He's work is amazing! I hardly ever get excited about art nowadays (apart from photography) but this hit a nerve!

The colors, shapes and especially the style makes my heart jump everytime I see a new piece of his...take a look at his website, and be amazed. I'd love to have a "Mark Ryden" hanging on my wall, the bigger the better!

Sigh...and wow!

Dancers...how cool are they!? Seriously, if I could choose one profession to my self, it would be a dancer. Dancing brings joy to the one dancing, and to the ones wathing. Dancing has attitude, grace, love, power, hope, and happines to it. What more can you ask for?


Ever felt the feeling of perfect relaxation and excitement at the same time? Dancing can bring that to you. Music is loud, you just move, move and move and forget everything else. Forget about joga...DANCE!


When I was a small girl I wanted to be a ballet dancer. Newer had the courage to go to a class though, I was too shy and didn't let my mom force me to go. Now I wish she had. I did some show dancing when I was a teenager, but quit when I didn't learn a routine as fast as I would have wanted to. I left the studio and never went back...stupid stupid me!



I tried to start dancing as a hobby around six months ago, but that didn't work out. I'd have to start from the beginners group, which is not a problem otherwise than...I'm like a fossil there!! Think about jumping up and down and sucking at piruets in the middle of 13-16 year old people...how humiliating. And sure I shouldn't think about irrelevant stuff like that, but I just coudn't bare my jaw dropping suckiness every week in front of giggling pimple_faced_ teenagers...
But oh boy do I dance at home... like mad! I swirl aroung my small apartment, do piruets that aren't even close to being the way they should...but hey who cares! Watching people dance well gives me chills, lifts my spirits up immediately and makes me super jealous. And that's exactly what it shoul do to you, make you feel....dear santa I know Christmas just went by but could you make me a dancer? Pleaseeeee

Enjoy...so jealous.

Through my window.

Today I've been sitting on my window...









....listening to this.

2010

Resolutions? Maybe. Decisions. Yes!
I can't even remember when I've made a New Years resolution...and if I have I don't think I've ever really kept my promise. I visited S this other day and got inspired about her plans for the coming year..

I'm not making a proper resolutions this year either, but I do plan to make few changes in my life. Some small, some big...depends on the way you look at them. Anyway the aim is to make my life more organized, relaxed,healthy and happy. Hopefully much more interesting too!

I'm trying to make the changes as gentle as I can, because I'm a serious quitter if I don't like something, or get bored. I need to fool myself a bit more...just like with the sticker chart.

These are my goals...don't know how to reach them all yet, but I'm sure I'll figure it out eventually.

- Eat healthier foods.
With that said I plan to ban all sweets and stuff like that starting from 1.1.2010 and ending 31.5.2010. I'm not allowed to buy any sweets to myself, or eat pizza or burgers by myself. I am still allowed to go out to eat with friends etc. The difference is that I won't binge eat by myself.

- Trust myself more.
If something feels good to be said or done, I need to do it and not think about what others might think about me.

- Excersise more.
Walk the dogs, ride a bike to work, walk don't drive..as simple as that.

- Get myself a boyfriend.
It's about f**king time.

- Become a better photographer.
Rehearse rehearse and rehearse some more.

- Don't stress about things beforehand so much.
There's a limited amount of things that can be done to anything, beforehand. I need to relax, wait and do things when it's their time. There's no use in hyperventilating before theres nothing you can do.

- Loose 5 kilos.
Might not make me any healthier, but sure will make me feel better about myself, so well worth it.

- Be more organized.
I need to plan my days. It always feels like theres no time for anything. That's not true, I just use my time like an idiot. I need to wake up early, go out with the dogs and not just sit on my arse and stare at the wall. I need to get myself a proper calendar and start using it. Same thing at work, I need to start writing things down in order to remember everything...don't know why that has been so hard to do to this day.

- Be more carefull with money.
No unnecessary things for the dogs. They don't NEED 6 new collars a year each...and neither do I. And don't buy things you don't need in general.

I thinks that's enough for this year. I'll be proud of myself if I get even half of them done! Anyway I'm sure this year will be a good year. So HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone!
I'll be going through lot's of other blogs hoping to find new years resolutions there, to get myself more inspired!

Summer come fast!!

I'm getting my self a bike!! *hearts flying from my eyes*
I have a lot of changes coming up in few months, and those changes make it possible for me to ride a bike to work. And with that said I have a real, proper, and WISE reason to buy a CRUISER! Oh how happy am I!!

I can see myself strolling through Kallio with my shiny, glittery, pretty bike when it's summer and hot, with the sun high in the sky...then me and my friend(s) will have our hoops and music with us, and we can drive our cruisers to the park or the beach...then we can hoop, sunbathe, eat, drink and laugh the whole day and drive back home in the evening...<3 <3



This black and pink one is my favourite at the moment. The flames bother me a bit, but that all can be changed. I like the pink rims, and the handle bar has got lots of attitude! ...I love them all though, so it's going to be a very tricky decision, to decide which one to buy.
Click on the pics, for more info! All the bikes can be ordered from The Chopperdome, Amsterdam. I just can't wait for it to be summer!!

H&M Home edition

I've felt really homesick today. It has been raining the whole evening, and that made me think about home. I love to sit on my sofa in the summer with the window open, listen to the rain drops falling and looking at the sky...I love to live on the top floor with nothing blocking the view to the sky. Storm watching is really cool there.

So, we've staid in Vuosaari for few weeks, I think, and there's really nothing to tell about it. It has been just as depressing as I thought. And I know that it's all about the attitude, and this really isn't a long time that we need to live here...but you know, a girl loves to whine a bit.

Anyway, I went to my friends place today and she had this H&M Autumn 2009 Home catalogue! Oh my...I need so much stuff from there...and what a great thing it is that I actually need all the things I want!!Usually I feel guilty even looking at new pillows, or carpets because I never really need new ones, just want them. BUT now it's different!!Yey!!

My plan is to buy a really basic sofa with sleek lines, nothing fancy, so I can fill it up with pillows. Lot's and lot's of pillows. I find myself going towards greys, silver, white and black. At least for now...we'll see what I come up with eventually. I feel that there's a lot of plans developing in my head, waiting to get out.

But underneath you can find some of the items that I NEED.