a Monday after a good weekend

It's still Monday, so there's still time for a Motivational Monday post! I had a fab weekend, with "old" and new friends...laughing, doing idiotic things, laughing a bit more and just generally having a blast! Still I ended up with a concussion....again! Could this have something to do with our partying habits?!? Maybe, maybe not...anyway I'm on a sick leave(again) and that's not really nice, so I decided to cheer my self up by making a Motivational Monday list...things that make me happy, and motivate me right now:

Changes - FRIENDS - plans - future Trips - next summer - mom - maybe Christmas a bit too - my friend having a baby <3 - clean home ( the sticker chart is working!) - many parties coming up - Ronan Keating; Winter Song ( omg I must have gone mad) - and I'm allowed to listen to Mariah Carey all I wan't for Christmas again! - photography (even though some say they don't like me having my camera with me all the time) - helping people - FUTURE !

Moaning

There's a subject that I've been avoiding for many years now...
It has haunted me every day, been close to me, whispering to my ear. Until now I've decided not to listen to those whispers, I've always felt like I don't have to, I still have time. Recently the voices have gotten louder...my ears hurt from all the shouting. I can't ignore this subject anymore, as it seems to bother me more and more everyday.

This forbidden subject is school..
When I gratuated from college(finnish: lukio) I was only 19 years old, or at least I think that I was. Young anyway. That was 5 years ago. Since then I've tried to apply to some schools few times, but never like I ment to get in. In Finland it's not easy to get into a university.It always felt like it's not worth all the effort that I had to put in just to get in! I've also always had a problem with failure. If I tried my hardest and still wouldn't get in, I'd really hate that and would get depressed over it. That was a thought I wasn't ready to handle. So, I never really tried my best...just wen't into the exams, scribbled something to the papers and left...allready knowing that there was no chance for me to get in. After I repeated this pattern a few times I thought that "Why even bother..." it certainly looked like I didn't wan't to go to school anyway. Then I decided not to force myself. I wen't to Belgium for a while and when I came back to Finland, got my self a job from Helsinki and moved here.

I absolutely hated my first year living here. I didn't know anyone, had only few friends (not very good ones) and was lonely as hell. Little by little I started to settle in, and started liking my new life away from home. Slowly but surely I had built myself a life here. I still didn't feel like going to school...no way. So I carried on the way I had. Untill this day I haven't regretted my decision. I've enjoyed my life a lot.
Now I feel that the time has come. I'm not getting any younger, so it's time to get things in to order and go to school...I can't live my whole life like this, or without a proper education. Actually I don't even wan't to.

Now that I've started thinking about these things I find my self batling with the same problems as I did 5 years ago. Am I good enough for anything? Will I get in to any school even if I try my hardest? What if I fail? Where to apply? What is it that I wan't to study? Will I hate it in school? Will I have enough money or time or endurance to cope with all of the things that come with it?
And again, I'm hating this...I'm hating the fact that I really really don't know what to do! I'm clueless.

Evening after evening I just browse through websites...check out different programs, but I'm not getting anywhere. Usually if I wan't something, I just make it happen...but for some reason this is a subject that paralyses me. I'm stuck, and don't know how to proceed. Seems like I'm not really good at making these life-changing-decisions...or even coping with the idea of them.

My biggest wish for next year is that I'd figure out what I wan't to do with my life. All ideas are welcome. Help! This "don't know what to do"- business is making my life miserable right now. Well maybe I'll just get my self married, have 5 kids, forget everything else and live happily ever after!...maybe not.

"Ignoring the facts, won't change the facts."

Sunday

We had a little photoshoot in Eira, Helsinki with my lovely friend J. I asked her to be my model, so I could try to be a better photographer! Thank you for your help, it was a really nice sunday spent with you...

You can find rest of the pics in my Flickr.com album!

Snowglobes

Where can I get something like this?
I need a big glamorous or a funny and small snowglobe! Maybe two...

MJ Jewellery

First I made the necklase above... it has a purple heart(though it looks blue in the pic) that says King of Pop, and on the other side it says Maikkeli, which is my most commonly used nickname for Mister Michael Jackson. Then there is a steel coloured round plate that says Mr. Depp...the other man in my life...so this is my "My men Necklace". :D I can carry my men with me where ever I go!

I got the idea for the necklase when we got a pet tag machine to my workplace...the guy who brought us the tag machine was joking to me that now all the girls at my work can make heart shaped necklases with our boyfriends names on them...you should have seen his face when I got really excited, started jumping for joy and said "I'm going to make a Johnny Depp necklase!!!!"

Then after I noticed that I wear "My Men" necklase allmost everyday I started thinking I'd like to have another one of those...just didn't know what to put on it. After I saw the Michael Jackson THIS IS IT movie I got a good idea! In the movie Michael stops the rehearsals and gives advice to his crew, after that he says: "It's all for love... L - O - V - E.
I had a good laugh when he said it, so I think it was appropriate text to put on my new MJ tribute necklase.

First I thought I'd just put that on it, but it felt like it wasn't enough, and I would only be able to put one ot two tags on the necklase....and I wanted more colour and more tags. Then I realised that I've wanted to use my favourite MJ quote somewhere, and this was a perfect place for it! So this is how it ended up looking like:



It says:

If you enter this world knowing you are loved and you leave this world knowing the same, then everything that happens in between can be dealt with.
- MJ




It has one round black tag, one round steel tag, one purple round steel tag and one purple heart shaped tag. Then there's a small steel heart shaped tag that says "It's all for L-O-V-E".
All the tags with the MJ quote on them have different font on every side. The necklase looks different depending which way around you're looking at it...I think it turned out just the way I wanted it to.

Motivational Monday

I have a plan! I suck at cleaning my house...I can go for weeks without vacuuming. At the same time it doesn't really bother me, but still it drives me mad. Aaaand with two dogs in the house not vacuuming for two weeks can be quite horrifying....

But now I have a plan. I'm making a schedule. Usually schedules don't work with me but now I'm trying to be clever and fool myself!! I'm mad for glitter, bright colours and especially glitter and bright colours together. I've decided to make myself a sticker chart! I get a glittery sticker to the chart everytime I have finished a household chore in time. This also gives me an excuse to go and buy bright, fun, colourful stickers! And as the time goes by, my fridge door will be full of different coloured pretty stickers...how lovely is that <3. I'm pretty confident that I can fool myself in to cleaning the house more often with this system...hopefully!

What an idea, what a Motivational Monday, dont you think! Now I'll be vacuuming and dusting all the time!

Ps. I really NEED a snowglobe!