Pic.I've been thinking...
I've always wanted to move away from Finland. I lived in Belgium for 7 months, loved it and hated it at the same time. Brussels just isn't the city for me, but London could be.Every time I set my feet on the ground of England I feel like home. I can't explaine it, and for once don't even feel a need to. It could be the home of my heart.
So now, since I've realized I actually don't have anything that would tie me to Finland, I could make the move. Every time I try to think of a reason to the question; "Why not?" I can't. There's no room for me to be scared if I need my life to change, and if I wan't to experience new things.
What am I waiting for? Really, WHAT? So now I've decided to take actions towards making it possible. I might change my mind while looking into things, but I feel a desperate need to start doing something. It's going to take a while before I feel comfortable enough to really go through it because I have lot's of things that need to be planned carefully...for example things conserning my dogs.
Sure I'll miss a lot of things from Finland. My mom, brother and his family. But first and foremost my friends. Maybe I'll convince someone to move with me! Anyway I think I need to do this. I'm certain it's going to be really hard at first, but I truly miss the feeling when you start your life from the scratch...even going to a store to buy food is an experience at first. There will be lonely times, and lot's of tears. At the same time those are the things that will drive me forward, drive me towards new people, new life.
Everything can go horribly wrong, but because I know I'll always have a place to return to, people supporting me back home I feel comfortable doing it. The funny thing is that I don't even know where to start! What channel will I use...school, work, my sister(who lives in England) or what!? Where will I live, how will I find myself an apartment? Scary...but oh so exciting! It might take me two years to get there, but now I at least have a plan.
"24 and blooming like the fields of Maine
25 and yearning for a ticket out
dreams burn but in ashes are gold"
-Kings of Convenience, 24-25
25 and yearning for a ticket out
dreams burn but in ashes are gold"
-Kings of Convenience, 24-25
2 kommenttia:
i know exactly how you feel!
nine years ago, i had same thoughts than you have now, and i just left, to live in ireland.
have to say, i've never looked back. it was simply the best thing that i have ever done in my life!
all the best with you decision,
mai
I'm so happy to hear from someone who had the courage to leave...and to hear that it worked out! This is a strange and a powerfull feeling, a real need to leave and do something completely different.
Now it just feels that this is taking too long, I'd love to leave tomorrow if possible :D I guess the hardest part was making the decision...
Thanks for your best wishes,
Annika
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