Pressure

With too much pressure comes guilt.

I have a habit of collecting things to my life. Collecting stuff I need to do, 'cause I promised. If someone ask's me to do something I hardly ever say no. I regret it later, but at that moment I'm sure I can manage one more thing to do. But what happens when one can't manage anything anymore, not even that one thing?

How does one know what's too much? Is it wrong, first to say yes to everything, and then have a change of heart and stop completely?

Guilt.

My theory is that enough is when you can't even get one thing done without forgetting 3 times what you where doing and why...when you'd rather burst in tears than think about the next day ahead.

Guilt.

When you'd rather stay in the house and sit on the sofa, without doing anything on your day off, than go out and do something you used to enjoy. When seeing your friends, or asking them how they are doing doesn't interest you anymore. When you don't feel like telling anyone how you're doing. You just don't have the energy.

Guilt.

But the main clue is guilt. You just feel guilty all the time, 'cause you remember you promised to do this and that, call him and her, go to visit them then, be there on time and come back on time, be a good dog owner,friend, daughter, worker...but you realize you haven't done anything of those properly for ages. If guilt has become your "best friend", loose half of the stuff you've promised to do...to yourself or someone else. Making someone mad for a while is a way better option than loosing yourself in the middle. How can that be done without letting someone down? Is there a proper excuse to be selfish...ever?

Guilt.