The end...for now at least.

Usually people say that Blog-silence is a sign of a life...hah! :D
Just don't seem to have anything to say these days, so Bye for now!

Have a gorgeous summer!

Busy busy

Just came back from Stockholm, and have been celebrating the Midsummers eve. Greatness.
Here's a set I took in Stockholm, of Succes .

More pics here: *CLICK*

Bring on the drama

I've been a really lazy photographer lately, BUT these pics are taken a week ago, when my godmother asked me to come and photograph their children. I loved it, and kinda feel like it's time to start rehearsing this stuff properly again. I've had a way too long brake from it, 'cause boy it was fun again!!
So these are just for show off. ;) I like the results a lot...and that's not that common! I usually find lot's and lot's of things to complaint about my pics. So maybe you could say that I'm evolving. Good. Finally.



Otherwise I'm just loving the Helsinki summer. It's green again...and I adore green. In the evenings I sit on my window,both windows all open and look outside over the neighbouring houses sealings at the sky above, and listen to SMG (Scandinavian Music Group). I could do that for hours if I had the time.
Summer gives me the chills every year, 'cause this is the time of living and doing. There's a lot going on, and mostly I'm going with the flow.



I really don't have anything reasonable to say this time...(do I ever?) So I'll just end with a link to the rest of the pics I took. *Click click*

Feelgood

Pictures...right now and few weeks ago.

It's been a hectic few weeks...loved it though!
I am a "fairy godmother" to a beautiful little girl now...couldn't possibly be more excited about that! Thank you again, J for trusting me with this honour. She's a darling.

I also went to Istanbul with L. What a trip again! Sun, warm, new culture, lot's to see, relaxing...it was a pure joy!
I'll get back here soon with more stories, just a quick picture update this time. :)

Have a nice beginning of summer! (It's so warm here grrreeaaaat!)

Pressure

With too much pressure comes guilt.

I have a habit of collecting things to my life. Collecting stuff I need to do, 'cause I promised. If someone ask's me to do something I hardly ever say no. I regret it later, but at that moment I'm sure I can manage one more thing to do. But what happens when one can't manage anything anymore, not even that one thing?

How does one know what's too much? Is it wrong, first to say yes to everything, and then have a change of heart and stop completely?

Guilt.

My theory is that enough is when you can't even get one thing done without forgetting 3 times what you where doing and why...when you'd rather burst in tears than think about the next day ahead.

Guilt.

When you'd rather stay in the house and sit on the sofa, without doing anything on your day off, than go out and do something you used to enjoy. When seeing your friends, or asking them how they are doing doesn't interest you anymore. When you don't feel like telling anyone how you're doing. You just don't have the energy.

Guilt.

But the main clue is guilt. You just feel guilty all the time, 'cause you remember you promised to do this and that, call him and her, go to visit them then, be there on time and come back on time, be a good dog owner,friend, daughter, worker...but you realize you haven't done anything of those properly for ages. If guilt has become your "best friend", loose half of the stuff you've promised to do...to yourself or someone else. Making someone mad for a while is a way better option than loosing yourself in the middle. How can that be done without letting someone down? Is there a proper excuse to be selfish...ever?

Guilt.

Mine!

I've finally found it...my wrist watch to be <3 I've been looking for one, for a long time now...all of the choises I've found so far have been either to feminine, or too boring. But these are girly but not too much! Now my only problem is to decide the colour...that's not going to be easy, there's too many cool ones!! Check them out www.triwa.com
Love love love.

Flowouwouwouwwwww!!

The first artist line-up was published today...

TAKE A LOOK AT THIS LIST!!

LIVE:

M.I.A. (SRI/UK)
The xx (UK)
Air (FRA)
Jónsi / Sigur Rós (ISL)
Marina And The Diamonds (UK)
Jimi Tenor & Tony Allen: Inspiration Information (FI//NGR)
Ulver (NOR)
The Drums (US)
Beach House (US)
Surfer Blood (US)
Girls (US)
Radio Dept. (SWE)
Timo Lassy Orchestra w/ José James (FI/US)
Omar Souleyman (SYR)
Ballaké Sissoko (MLI)
Villa Nah (FI)
Husky Rescue (FI)
Ricky-Tick Big Band (FI)
Ville Leinonen & Majakan Soittokunta (FI)
Yona & Liikkuvat Pilvet (FI)
Kiki Pau (FI)

And these are just the first one's to be announced 0_O
I NEED to go!! Now I'll just have to wait for the timetables...to see if I can get out of work...'cause I guarantee you that I'm not the only one that want's to go ;) I can't wait, I'm so excited!!! Flow = love

Pick it up a notch.

Okay, this is where I've come to.

I walk to work around 3 times a week, sometimes even more. That takes about 30minutes and I walk quite fast...that's well done.

I walk the dogs twice a day. First thing in the morning and then after work. Usually we walk for 30minutes or so. That happens pretty much everyday. Those walks aren't that efficient though 'cause the dogs stop to sniff around often...but it's better than nothing right?

I haven't drink any energy drinks for 3 (or so) weeks. Not even one!! I'm so proud of my self, *clap clap* well done, good girl.

I've kinda been paying attention to what I'm eating. Haven't eaten that much sweets or anything like that...except if I do, I'll try to restrict it to one day. (Hasn't worked all the time, but most of the time yes...o-ou)

But what I still suck at with this getting healthy business is sleeping, money in a way (My traveling makes it a bit hard to save money. So after Barcelona in July, no trips for 6 months. *buhuu*), and not enough excersise. And cleaning...gosh I really suck at cleaning my flat. Pheww, hate it too.

So to speed things up a bit I've decided that I have to do this 3 step program:

1. Hoop dance twice a week for 30 minutes. The parks are free of snow and there's relatively warm outside. So in the mornings, twice a week I'll hoop the morning away. This can be replaced with stomach crunches too, what ever suites me the best then. The main point is to do something with my waist and stomach basically. :D

2. Go to bed 'till 11.00pm on 3 nights. Other nights I can stay up if I feel like it, but 3 nights bed time's at eleven 'o clock. Maybe this way I'll get used to that habit a bit easier.

3. Go running twice a week. I'll go for a walk with Jazz anyway, so I can swich to runing two times a week.

This shouldn't be too hard to accomplish. Well, that's something we'll see soon...:D

Dance your ass off!!

They're heading to a competition next week...they will win. Such good girls!
See for your self --> Click Click.

Run Forrest Run!

Tomorrow, or might even be today, is the day!
I'll start running. Iknow how it's going to be at first. It's going to feel like I'm flying and nothing's going to be able to stop me! But give it 5minutes (or 2) and I'll be crying out of agony, my lungs ripped apart, a runny nose, pink to flaming red face and mind blowing rage. Oh how I love running. <3

So yes, in a way I hate running a bit, but I can't wait the feeling I'll have afterwards! All sweaty and horrible, but still the happiest girl in the world! You just have to love endorfins...right?

So, goodbye fat welcome new red and puffy happy me! If I last 10 minutes the first time, I'll be proud.

Changes.

Things need to change, and it's not going to be pleasant at first.
Have you ever kinda woke up to see that your life isn't what you would like it to be? You've just been living your life and doing things without really paying attention HOW you're living and doing things...with rising anxiety. Well mine is pretty much coming to it's peak, so I've decided to make some re-evaluations.

The problems are, that it feels like I never have the time or energy to do things I feel would need to be done, like cleaning, exercising, and taking care of the dogs properly. There are multiple reasons why things are like this and I'm going to try to tackle every one of them.

This is my holy list of changes:

- First and foremost I need to cut back on using the internet. The main reason why I never feel like I don't have time for anything is this little rectangle black machine! I have a new rule, I'm allowed to check my Facebook account twice a week...and boy is that going to be hard! I'm way too addicted to it, checking it every five minutes or even more often when I'm at home, or even when I'm visiting someone. I calculated that when I limit my internet time to twice a week instead of everyday I save up to 21hours a week!!! 21hours! That's almost a whole day...that will leave me with plenty of time to do all the other things I'm planning to do.

- The second thing has to do with sleeping. If I want to be more energetic I need to sleep enough, go to bed earlier and wake up earlier. So bed time on a normal night (means I'm just hanging at home not doing anything special: going out with someone or something) is 11pm. I usually go to work at 12pm so if I wake up at 8am that would mean I have 3,5 hours of active time in the mornings before I need to go to work...and I still have slept for 9 hours. Not a bad deal at all.
The problem with this is that I'm not a morning person...really, I'm not. So if this proves to be too difficult I'll make some compromises with this one, or else I'll be really annoyed...all the time. But I'll try to make it work!

- No energy drinks. NONE. They are bad for me, and they cost a lot of money and are addicting. I drink approximately 1 energy drink a day. One costs around 2,5euros. That costs me 75,00 euros a month. Ridicilous, absolutely ridicilous. This is an easy thing to do, I'll just think about the 75 euros every time I feel like buying one.

- Remember my post around Christmas, where I promised to lose 5 kilos? Well I did promise that...but no I haven't lost the weight. I had a good start, but then life came and changed everything and whoooops I've actually almost gain 5 kilos. I haven't felt this dissapointed in myself for a long time, or been bothered about my looks this much either since my eating disorder times. My eating habits have spinned out of control, which have made my body crave for fatty foods, sugar and salt all the time. I don't have any idea how much weight I'd like to lose, my goal is to get my eating habits back to normal and if (sure I will) I lose some weight in the meantime that's good, but I'm not going to stare at the scale. My body mass index is at 23,2 which is the highest I've ever been at, so now it's time to take action. I'm still in the normal zone of BMI but with this rate, won't be for long. The way I look and feel, has a huge impact on the way I feel so this change is a very imporatnt one. It's going to make me more healthy and happier at the same time.

- Exercise. Haven't done that much either lately. With that 75 euros I'll save from the energy drinks I'm going to start going to the gym again. Once a week at least. I don't wan't to push myself with this too much or I'll be put out of it immediately. I'll buy the gym card again and see how I'll manage with it. Once now and again is better than never, right?
When most of the snow has melted I'll start running with Jazz again(my other dog). That way I'll give Jazz the exercise he needs and do something myself too. Perfect. I used to hate running but now I have grown to like it, so that's a good exercise form for me. My goal is to do something 6 days a week + walk the dogs everyday. Walking the dogs isn't really exercising for me so I can easily add a bit of hooping to a day easily.(Again I'm talking about "normal" days when I'm mostly at work and at home, a girl needs to have fun too ;)) And hooping will make me happy!

- Money. I don't know how to spend my money in a way I won't end up living on the streets in 5 years. If I don't manage now when I'm still working, what's it going to be like when I'm in school...don't even want to think about it really.
I have this habitof not opening my post. That means I don't know about my bills or important letters. The reason why I don't open them strait away is, that way I can pretend they are not there. If I don't open them I might not have to pay them...how clever. Wonder why it hasn't worked out yet,not even once?? Yes, so, I need to start organizing my money and bills, properly. That way I don't need to feel agitated all the time about money issues, and maybe I would have more money left eventually, to eat properly for example. Budget is the word of the hour.

Those are the main things I'm tackling with. I believe that if I get most of those in to order, other things will start to solve themselves. If I have more energy, and feel better about myself, don't have to worry about money issues so much, I'll be overall happier and that will affect every aspect of my life. What a lovely thought, isn't it?
I'm hoping I'll stick to this plan and get my rainbow after the rain. :)

First Aid Kit

Then in to something completely different...I wen't to a gig in the Club Tavastia last Thursday. I'm still over the moon after it!! I wen't to see two Swedish sister sing...they are called First Aid Kit. One of the most uplifting and ispiring gigs I've ever been at!

These two sisters are only 19 and 16 years old. They scream talent!
This is one of my favourite songs of theirs...this band is my new love. :D

Hope you all have a nice week!

United Kingdom

All pics by me.

I went to England and came back. Like always, it was exactly what I needed. When ever I feel overwhelmed about my life, or have far too much things going on(mainly in my head), all I need to do is to go to England to visit my sister.


I went to the Helsinki-Vantaa airport really early so I could have my breakfast there. It has become a little routine of mine that I want to go through everytime. I love the airport atmosphere. I love looking at people on their holiday moods, or with their laptops, looking really important flying to a business meeting somewhere in Europe.

I bought a book from the airport, that I started in the plane, and ended on my way back. I recommend it to everyone! It's been a long time since a book has got me this excited about reading! It's called "The truth about Melody Browne" and it's written by Lisa Jewell. It was a random pick, I just went to the bookstore looked at the top 10 list and picked out the one that had the nicest looking cover. Read it!! It's a book you can't put down even if you wanted to...I read it every night before going to sleep, and I never wanted to stop. No matter how tired I was I tried to read it atleast one eye open. So go and find it, read it.


One thing I have to say about Finnish people at airports is...about queuing.
Easy Jet (that I use, 'cause it ridicilously cheap!!100€ round trip to the UK and back) has this boarding system at the gate where they ask passengers to board in groups. You get to know your group at the check-in desk. They announce about that system at the gate...every time. They are very specific about how the boarding will proceed. First Speedy Boarding pass holders, then parents traveling with kids, then group A and B and so on. Simple, right?

But what does the Finns do...EVERYTIME. Right the second they hear the first word of the announcement that might indicate that it's time to board the plane, they get up and go for a que. No one listens to what the flight attendand is saying, they just push and shove around and stand in a que. Then they stand there for half an hour or more for no reason. Why is that?? Why are Finns like that? I'm sure no one believes that they will be left out from the plane if they don't stand in a que straight away...or is it about that they are afraid they won't get good seats in the plane?(Easy Jet has free seating) It can't be that either 'cause even though how hard they que they won't be let in the plane before it's their groups time to board!! I'm ridicilously annyoed everytime I have to watch this happen! You'd think it's not my problem, and it isn't but as it happens everytime, it's strated to annoy me more and more and yet some more. I feel like shouting at them, to tell them to go and SIT BACK DOWN!!! Haven't done that yet...but with this rate I will someday :D.


When we landed to the Gatwick airport, my sister was there waiting for me with their two kids. E is 3 years old and H is 1 year old. Can't help but love them. They are one of the most innovative, active and well-behaved little girls. A credit to their parents.


My holiday consisted mainly of food, walking around, playing with the children and taking pics. My goal was to relax and forget my life for a while. No internet, no phone no nothing. Just the English air and my sister and her family. Absolutely fabulous.

Covent Garden Market

My sister lives in Maindenhead, which is located on the west side of London, 20 minutes by train to the Paddington Station. We were supposed to go to National Photography Gallery in London, but when we got there, there was a note on the door saying the exhibition had moved to another location. We had the children with us so we really didn't wan't to go and look for it...as it turned out to be quite far away. We had just came by train and bus and the kids were really fed up with all the traveling so we had to come up with something else. Fortunately I had seen an add about an Irving Penn exhibition in the London Portrait Gallery! I had thought to myself that maybe I would have wanted to go there instead anyway, so I was happy that we were only a block away from the Portrait Gallery so we decided to go there!

Irving Penn is my new idol. He's done work to Vogue since 1940's. He's other work is amazing too. He's got a style of his own that makes his work very recognizable. I walked through the exhibition with my jaw dropped to the groung, stars and hearts flying from my eyes...great work.
I got really ispired of his work...so now I've got many new photography ideas that I can't wait to try! Just need to find the right models for them!

I bought a poster of one of his photographs. Now I need to get it framed, then I'll always have a piece of him hanging on my wall. One of my favourite pics of his was about Truman Capote, it's not the one I got, since they didn't have it (and I couldn't find it in the internet) but THIS gives a good idea about what his work is like.



Otherwise I spent time on the sofa, reading books to the children, blowing soap bubbles outside and soaking in the sun and warmth of the English spring.


Other place worth mentioning, that we visited, is a National Trust owned manor house called Cliveden. It has been used as a hunting "hut"...a real hut or cottage indeed...it was HUGE. We walked around the gardens (there were many) and the next day me and my sister went for a high tea inside the house. A proper afternoon tea. I'm so sorry that I didn't bring my camera with me there...I thought it wouldn't be appropriate 'cause my camera is so big and clumsy. But now I regret it...the house was so awesome! The carpets, paintings, furniture, chandeliers and everything else was pure magic. I could see and hear the history of the place..see how the people living in the house have looked like, what they've done there. Maybe sat by the fire doing some nitting in their gorgeous gownds and posh wigs.

And there we were, drinking tea, eating finger breads and skons with clotted cream and jam just like they have, a few hundred years ago. Marvellous.



I think I'll never get bored of going to England. There's something about the atmosphere there that makes me feel like I'm home everytime. It's good to have a place like that.


Rest of the pics can be found here: click click.
My suggestion is that you put it on Slideshow and listen to "Oasis - Wonderwall" while watching.

Important day.

My very very dear friend is having a baby today. Actually she's having it right now as I'm writing. ..
I feel like I should be doing something for her, but sure I realize there's nothing I can do and it's driving me crazy! Having a baby is something that friends are not that much involved in, untill things have settled down a bit inside the FAMILY. They are a family now...a "real family". That's a mind blowing thought, and at the same time I'm so happy and proud that I might burst soon!!

Now I'm just anxiously waiting for news! Only thing I know is a sms I got 7am in the morning saying : It's showtime.
I'm leaving to England on monday, so I'm hoping I'll be able to see the baby and especially my new mom friend this weekend, or I'll be very sad...
This is big! The biggest thing that's happened to one of my close friends ever...I'm wishing them lot's of happines and joy. And I'm very happy that I'll be able to be apart of someones life from the beginning. <3 12.3. will be a very important day from now on.



I also made a couple of new ribbons this week! I'm loving them...they turned out quite nice, didn't they!? That pirate one is hilarious. A friend of mine at work, had found a cat mouse from the store without the other eye, so she had an idea to make it a pirate mouse with an eyepatch! I loved the idea straight away so here we are, a pirate mouse with it's treasure on a ribbon..haha



The other one I came up with, when I was going through my old jewellery for the pirate ribbon. I found that purple brooch, and wanted to use it for something...
That "SHHH..." is there for fun :D There's no point in it...






Ps. That's my new bag...!!

How much do you cost?

I'm going to be sold tomorrow...literally.
I'm one of the singles beeing auctioned off in a singles auction this saturday! It's all for charity...and a the best joke for a while! :D There was no reason not to say yes when I was nominated. Should be great fun!

The bidding starts from 1 euro, so no sky high prices to come, or I need MANY bidders. But every penny for charity is better than nothing. I've "hired" friends to bid for me, if A) there's some scary heavy-metal Finn bidding on me B) if no one is bidding!
Here's the link to the event on Facebook.

And here's my "add" (By S)

ANNIKA

"Hei, olen Annika. Paitsi että olen Annika, olen myös impulsiivinen, hauska, sarkastinen, paniikkinen, järkevä, itsenäinen, älytön ja ehkä aavistuksen vinksallaan. Minulla on käytöstavat tilanteen mukaan joko hallussa tai hukassa, mutta yritän aina parhaani. Jos jotain tarkempia speksejä kaivataan, niin lähdetään vaikka siitä, että olen 24-vuotias. Loput saat selvittää itse. ♥"

And roughly translated it goes something like this:

"Hi I'm Annika. And besides beeing Annika I'm, impulsive,funny,sarcastic,panicy,sensible,independent, mad and slightly crooked. Sometimes I've got manners, sometimes not, but I always try my best. If more detailed info is needed let's start with the fact that I'm 24 years old. The rest you need to find out yourself.♥"

S sure knows what she's talking about...she's right on! I'd buy myself based on this add, so it must be good :D Wish me luck and lot's of money to charity! Exciting!

I don't like anything.

My inspiration is gone. The winter is finally getting a hold of me. I've been so brave and strong and kept on going like a pro through the winter, but now there's too much snow and cold....can't handle it anymore.

I've been stuck inside for ages. My anckle is sore (I need to wear an "Air-cast" for 4 weeks...I've had it for two weeks allready), and it's freeeezing cold outside! The story with the anckle is, too much fun, too often...tried to be a happy light bird and hop to the dancefloor in a bar, but that didn't end that well...so I strain my anckle. A strain anckle means: no walks with the dogs, no hooping, no nothing. Just boredom, eating and getting fat.

I've been working, but that's all I do. I just go to work (and freeze), come back from work (freeze some more), take the hyperactivemostannoyingdogs out (freeze again), go back inside and stay there. I'm loosing my mind here!!

Thank god I'm going to England in three weeks! I'm sure the English air is going to do wonders again. That's the only thing ( besides the singles auction thing I'm attending, which I'm going to tell more later when I'm not this pissed off) that I have to look forward to. Winter sucks, and sometimes it sucks to be a Finn living in Finland, 'cause...well winter sucks.


I promise, I won't complain about the heat in summer ever again.

V-day

Valentine's day...what a lovely and perfect reason to go out with great company!
S cut me a new hairdo too, so there's one more reason to go and have a little fun out in the city...isn't it!

My friend E took some hilarious photos when we were at my place...thanks for the lovely company everyone, like always I enjoyed myself <3 Like said earlier, most pics are by E but there are few taken by me also.

Click click.

Ps. I'm the blonde without the glasses...check out my new hair! Love IT!

I love me.

And who couldn't love her..?

More pics on Flickr again...clik click. Pics by me, as always.

Needs.

...among other things. Here's a quick list, I need to sum these things up.
I need:

- Yellow Converse
- Money
- More time
- Creativity
- Photography
- Sanity
- At least 3 new dresses
- Few sneakers, in silver and in some other bright color
- High heels
- to get away from Finland for a while
- Love
- To see my friends more
- Hoop hoop more
- Excersise
- New furniture
- Summer!
- My bike
- I need a lot of things :D

Can you feel it?

I can.
Check this out, then you know if you can...click click.

!!!!

These will soon be mine! Look at the shine, the shape, the glitter! Only problem is that I forgot my wallet at my workplace so I can't order them right now, immediately, NOW...but the first thing I'll do in the mornig at work is order those sneakers...!
And they are on sale too <3
Can't tell you where I'm ordering them, because I'm too afraid there won't be my size left! Yes, I know I'm beeing hysterical...but I don't wan't to take any chances :D haha

Perfect sneakers.

One word baby; curiosity.

That's what we all should learn, me at least for sure! Fear is something that can make ones life almost impossible to live happily ever after. Just think about it, if Snow white hadn't bite that toxic apple she maybe would never have met her prince charming! What an irony, something poisonous can be good for you...oh Disney where would we be without you!

But seriously, I've been thinking about fears today.
We had this intern at our store for a month or so...she was slow, nervous, unshure of herself but she tried her best. She was really bad. Like seriously she was BAD. But still she tried, she took my critiques (I was kind) and carried on. I could see that everytime I talked to her (not with her 'cause the only thing she said back was yes, yes, yes, okey, yes , I know, yeess) she tensed up and really wasn't comfortable talking to me 'cause she thought I'd tell her she'd done something wrong again...(and yes I was kind!)

Still she kept on pushing, kept on trying to be better, and we did see some progress in her just before her internship ended. All I could think about is how embarassing it must have been for her to sit there and listen to me telling her teacher, at the last evaluation, what she had done wrong, what had been her low points...because there really wasn't that much good to say. But those things needed to be said...that's the only way she could benefit from her mistakes. And boy did she try the next day after that! She was with the customers like a pro(well not really but way better than before that) and she really really tried to be brave and speak up her mind about things, which she hadn't done before!
How brave is that...to be humiliated almost everyday in some way, but still go on and push forward. She wasn't stylish, she wasn't pretty or witty (hah a poem) and she couldn't do a lot of things right but she had a lot more things going on in her life than I am! She was brave.

Fear is the thing that's making me hang in this standstill "phase". How does one learn to say things that need to be said, or do what need to be done without beeing scared of the possible (bad)things that might follow?
Being curious. That's the answer.(or atleast that's what I'm letting myself believe) Like the first pic says, Replace fear with curiosity...let curiosity take over and soon you'll wake up to new things before you even know it! I need to start pushing my self more in to beeing even more interested in the things that feel worth it, explore more, be curious! I won't die of humiliation or screwing up.(Or only just for a moment..)
Then I'll just get up and carry on with my chin down towards new dissapointments! Who knows maybe I'll find something good on the way there, I just need to be curious enough to look under each stone...(what a cliché hah).

And I'm on my way to curiosity already! I'm traveling to Istanbul with a friend of mine...that's something to be scared about, a blonde in Turkey..o-ouuu. But I am curious to see how it goes. ;)