2010

Resolutions? Maybe. Decisions. Yes!
I can't even remember when I've made a New Years resolution...and if I have I don't think I've ever really kept my promise. I visited S this other day and got inspired about her plans for the coming year..

I'm not making a proper resolutions this year either, but I do plan to make few changes in my life. Some small, some big...depends on the way you look at them. Anyway the aim is to make my life more organized, relaxed,healthy and happy. Hopefully much more interesting too!

I'm trying to make the changes as gentle as I can, because I'm a serious quitter if I don't like something, or get bored. I need to fool myself a bit more...just like with the sticker chart.

These are my goals...don't know how to reach them all yet, but I'm sure I'll figure it out eventually.

- Eat healthier foods.
With that said I plan to ban all sweets and stuff like that starting from 1.1.2010 and ending 31.5.2010. I'm not allowed to buy any sweets to myself, or eat pizza or burgers by myself. I am still allowed to go out to eat with friends etc. The difference is that I won't binge eat by myself.

- Trust myself more.
If something feels good to be said or done, I need to do it and not think about what others might think about me.

- Excersise more.
Walk the dogs, ride a bike to work, walk don't drive..as simple as that.

- Get myself a boyfriend.
It's about f**king time.

- Become a better photographer.
Rehearse rehearse and rehearse some more.

- Don't stress about things beforehand so much.
There's a limited amount of things that can be done to anything, beforehand. I need to relax, wait and do things when it's their time. There's no use in hyperventilating before theres nothing you can do.

- Loose 5 kilos.
Might not make me any healthier, but sure will make me feel better about myself, so well worth it.

- Be more organized.
I need to plan my days. It always feels like theres no time for anything. That's not true, I just use my time like an idiot. I need to wake up early, go out with the dogs and not just sit on my arse and stare at the wall. I need to get myself a proper calendar and start using it. Same thing at work, I need to start writing things down in order to remember everything...don't know why that has been so hard to do to this day.

- Be more carefull with money.
No unnecessary things for the dogs. They don't NEED 6 new collars a year each...and neither do I. And don't buy things you don't need in general.

I thinks that's enough for this year. I'll be proud of myself if I get even half of them done! Anyway I'm sure this year will be a good year. So HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone!
I'll be going through lot's of other blogs hoping to find new years resolutions there, to get myself more inspired!

Merry Christmas everybody...

...and hopefully a better new year 2010! xx

Summer come fast!!

I'm getting my self a bike!! *hearts flying from my eyes*
I have a lot of changes coming up in few months, and those changes make it possible for me to ride a bike to work. And with that said I have a real, proper, and WISE reason to buy a CRUISER! Oh how happy am I!!

I can see myself strolling through Kallio with my shiny, glittery, pretty bike when it's summer and hot, with the sun high in the sky...then me and my friend(s) will have our hoops and music with us, and we can drive our cruisers to the park or the beach...then we can hoop, sunbathe, eat, drink and laugh the whole day and drive back home in the evening...<3 <3



This black and pink one is my favourite at the moment. The flames bother me a bit, but that all can be changed. I like the pink rims, and the handle bar has got lots of attitude! ...I love them all though, so it's going to be a very tricky decision, to decide which one to buy.
Click on the pics, for more info! All the bikes can be ordered from The Chopperdome, Amsterdam. I just can't wait for it to be summer!!

Oh deer!

Meet my new best friend...glitter deer! I love christmas time, 'cause shops are full of things that shine. Sometimes, like yesterday, you can find something worth buying! I thought this silver and gold deer was worth it... Just look how cute it is! Now it stands on my window keeping watch proudly.
And I found it from Anttila...how weird is that! It's made of plastic, and covered with glitter.

Aaaand....before going to hunt my deer, I popped in to this charming retro/vintage store near my flat called Kauppahuone Keko(they don't have a working website, but the addres is at Harjutori, Helsinki). The shop is owned by this lovely 60 year old woman...she adores all her items that she's selling, and can tell you great stories about them. Just go and have a chat with her, even though you don't feel like buying anything, I guarantee you'll love it!

But this is what I found! I love old rustic candle holders. I haven't found anything worth buying for a while, so I jumped for joy when I saw these two! The lovely lady told me that they are from a Finnish family that live in Töölö. A family of culture she says.(awwww)

I find my new candle holders cute and akward. They are so weird that you just can't help but love them...and they are hand made!!


Now I'll always have a wise eagle to guide me through storms! ;)

a Monday after a good weekend

It's still Monday, so there's still time for a Motivational Monday post! I had a fab weekend, with "old" and new friends...laughing, doing idiotic things, laughing a bit more and just generally having a blast! Still I ended up with a concussion....again! Could this have something to do with our partying habits?!? Maybe, maybe not...anyway I'm on a sick leave(again) and that's not really nice, so I decided to cheer my self up by making a Motivational Monday list...things that make me happy, and motivate me right now:

Changes - FRIENDS - plans - future Trips - next summer - mom - maybe Christmas a bit too - my friend having a baby <3 - clean home ( the sticker chart is working!) - many parties coming up - Ronan Keating; Winter Song ( omg I must have gone mad) - and I'm allowed to listen to Mariah Carey all I wan't for Christmas again! - photography (even though some say they don't like me having my camera with me all the time) - helping people - FUTURE !

Moaning

There's a subject that I've been avoiding for many years now...
It has haunted me every day, been close to me, whispering to my ear. Until now I've decided not to listen to those whispers, I've always felt like I don't have to, I still have time. Recently the voices have gotten louder...my ears hurt from all the shouting. I can't ignore this subject anymore, as it seems to bother me more and more everyday.

This forbidden subject is school..
When I gratuated from college(finnish: lukio) I was only 19 years old, or at least I think that I was. Young anyway. That was 5 years ago. Since then I've tried to apply to some schools few times, but never like I ment to get in. In Finland it's not easy to get into a university.It always felt like it's not worth all the effort that I had to put in just to get in! I've also always had a problem with failure. If I tried my hardest and still wouldn't get in, I'd really hate that and would get depressed over it. That was a thought I wasn't ready to handle. So, I never really tried my best...just wen't into the exams, scribbled something to the papers and left...allready knowing that there was no chance for me to get in. After I repeated this pattern a few times I thought that "Why even bother..." it certainly looked like I didn't wan't to go to school anyway. Then I decided not to force myself. I wen't to Belgium for a while and when I came back to Finland, got my self a job from Helsinki and moved here.

I absolutely hated my first year living here. I didn't know anyone, had only few friends (not very good ones) and was lonely as hell. Little by little I started to settle in, and started liking my new life away from home. Slowly but surely I had built myself a life here. I still didn't feel like going to school...no way. So I carried on the way I had. Untill this day I haven't regretted my decision. I've enjoyed my life a lot.
Now I feel that the time has come. I'm not getting any younger, so it's time to get things in to order and go to school...I can't live my whole life like this, or without a proper education. Actually I don't even wan't to.

Now that I've started thinking about these things I find my self batling with the same problems as I did 5 years ago. Am I good enough for anything? Will I get in to any school even if I try my hardest? What if I fail? Where to apply? What is it that I wan't to study? Will I hate it in school? Will I have enough money or time or endurance to cope with all of the things that come with it?
And again, I'm hating this...I'm hating the fact that I really really don't know what to do! I'm clueless.

Evening after evening I just browse through websites...check out different programs, but I'm not getting anywhere. Usually if I wan't something, I just make it happen...but for some reason this is a subject that paralyses me. I'm stuck, and don't know how to proceed. Seems like I'm not really good at making these life-changing-decisions...or even coping with the idea of them.

My biggest wish for next year is that I'd figure out what I wan't to do with my life. All ideas are welcome. Help! This "don't know what to do"- business is making my life miserable right now. Well maybe I'll just get my self married, have 5 kids, forget everything else and live happily ever after!...maybe not.

"Ignoring the facts, won't change the facts."

Sunday

We had a little photoshoot in Eira, Helsinki with my lovely friend J. I asked her to be my model, so I could try to be a better photographer! Thank you for your help, it was a really nice sunday spent with you...

You can find rest of the pics in my Flickr.com album!

Snowglobes

Where can I get something like this?
I need a big glamorous or a funny and small snowglobe! Maybe two...

MJ Jewellery

First I made the necklase above... it has a purple heart(though it looks blue in the pic) that says King of Pop, and on the other side it says Maikkeli, which is my most commonly used nickname for Mister Michael Jackson. Then there is a steel coloured round plate that says Mr. Depp...the other man in my life...so this is my "My men Necklace". :D I can carry my men with me where ever I go!

I got the idea for the necklase when we got a pet tag machine to my workplace...the guy who brought us the tag machine was joking to me that now all the girls at my work can make heart shaped necklases with our boyfriends names on them...you should have seen his face when I got really excited, started jumping for joy and said "I'm going to make a Johnny Depp necklase!!!!"

Then after I noticed that I wear "My Men" necklase allmost everyday I started thinking I'd like to have another one of those...just didn't know what to put on it. After I saw the Michael Jackson THIS IS IT movie I got a good idea! In the movie Michael stops the rehearsals and gives advice to his crew, after that he says: "It's all for love... L - O - V - E.
I had a good laugh when he said it, so I think it was appropriate text to put on my new MJ tribute necklase.

First I thought I'd just put that on it, but it felt like it wasn't enough, and I would only be able to put one ot two tags on the necklase....and I wanted more colour and more tags. Then I realised that I've wanted to use my favourite MJ quote somewhere, and this was a perfect place for it! So this is how it ended up looking like:



It says:

If you enter this world knowing you are loved and you leave this world knowing the same, then everything that happens in between can be dealt with.
- MJ




It has one round black tag, one round steel tag, one purple round steel tag and one purple heart shaped tag. Then there's a small steel heart shaped tag that says "It's all for L-O-V-E".
All the tags with the MJ quote on them have different font on every side. The necklase looks different depending which way around you're looking at it...I think it turned out just the way I wanted it to.

Motivational Monday

I have a plan! I suck at cleaning my house...I can go for weeks without vacuuming. At the same time it doesn't really bother me, but still it drives me mad. Aaaand with two dogs in the house not vacuuming for two weeks can be quite horrifying....

But now I have a plan. I'm making a schedule. Usually schedules don't work with me but now I'm trying to be clever and fool myself!! I'm mad for glitter, bright colours and especially glitter and bright colours together. I've decided to make myself a sticker chart! I get a glittery sticker to the chart everytime I have finished a household chore in time. This also gives me an excuse to go and buy bright, fun, colourful stickers! And as the time goes by, my fridge door will be full of different coloured pretty stickers...how lovely is that <3. I'm pretty confident that I can fool myself in to cleaning the house more often with this system...hopefully!

What an idea, what a Motivational Monday, dont you think! Now I'll be vacuuming and dusting all the time!

Ps. I really NEED a snowglobe!

Okay, let's try...

I've seen people doing this in their Blogs often, to cheer them up, to make them see what are the best things in their lives at that moment. It seems to work too, so I'll give it a try! A happy list.

Mine has a little twist to it though...I'd like to call it a motivational list. A "Motivational Monday list"( yes I know it's thuesday now, but I was supposed to do this yesterday...). I'll try to gather up all the things that could motivate me on a dull Monday things to be happy about, and things that prepare me for the new week.

I've had a shitty day today. I have a terrible cough and a terrible headackhe. I wen't to the doctors yeasterday and got some nice white pills and some horrible tasting cough syrup(that doesn't work). Now I'm anxiously waiting for the pills to kick in! Being ill all the time time is starting to get old.

Oh yes the list...
Things that keep me going this week:

This is it movie on Wednesday - fun weekend in Tampere - My home - sewing - going through old photos - taking photos - searching trough the internet for schools I might apply to.


That's it for this week. A bit lame start in my opinion....I'll try to do better next week. But at this state of mind, finding something motivating is a triumphant succes, believe me! But you know...this list making kinda helped. Now I'll get my self some Earl Grey tea and curl up to the sofa. <3

LDN

It was so much fun! London always delivers! Good friends, good mood, fine dining, partying 'till the morning, no worries, shopping, excellent hotel, a date, sightseeing---perfection.

We wen't to Brick Lane area which is located in the eastern London. I had never been there before, but sure will go again! That was my kinda place. Laid back people with good attitude and style. Lot's of cool shops and few vintage and desing markets on a weekend. Here's few places worth visiting there: Absolutely Vintage - went mad there, too much good stuff to choose from, Pop Up Market - full of designer stuff made from vintage materials a heaven on earth (shopping wise), Not UK Cafe (couldn't find a website)- best sandwiches I have found in London and the atmosphere is perfect.


Sure we did all the sightseeing and Madame Tussauds too, 'cause this was L's first time in England. Trafalgar square at night is gorgeous. I could go on about my trip for days, but instead I'll keep it in my heart and feel happy!

Fountain on Trafalgar Square.

Not UK

Absolutely Vintage

This necklase I bought from the Pop Up Market...I LOVE IT!

Go to London...I guarantee that if you keep your eyes open and try new things, you'll have the time of your life!

Need a good laugh?

Once again, I've been on a sick leave from work...because of my back this time. It's getting better allready I think, but that keeps me stuck inside my apartment. Few of my friends have kindly taken the dogs out, so I don't have to. Thank god for them!

The problem is that it's really boring just to hang around the house by myself, so I decided to finally order Fawlty Towers DVD box from CDON.COM. They had sale too so perfect timing. I got the DVD's today. Such a good decision to order it! I can't remember when, for a while, I'd have laughed this much! The show hilarious!! I've watched it at my sisters place in England, and I think it has aired in Finnish TV sometimes too, so I knew what I was buying.

Fawlty Towers is a BBC production from the 1970s'. The plot goes basically like this:

"Inept and manic English hotel owner and manager, Basil Fawlty, isn't cut out for his job. He's intolerant, rude and paranoid. All hell frequently breaks loose as Basil tries to run the hotel, constantly under verbal (and sometime physical) attack from his unhelpful wife Sybil, and hindered by the incompetent, but easy target, Manuel; their Spanish waiter. Written by Rob Hartill "

Very simple, but oh so entertaining! If you ever get the chance to watch it, do it! I thinks this DVD box will save my day many times in the future.



Here's one excellent episode that I laughed straight through!

Aim to the stars

Pic.

I've been thinking...
I've always wanted to move away from Finland. I lived in Belgium for 7 months, loved it and hated it at the same time. Brussels just isn't the city for me, but London could be.Every time I set my feet on the ground of England I feel like home. I can't explaine it, and for once don't even feel a need to. It could be the home of my heart.

So now, since I've realized I actually don't have anything that would tie me to Finland, I could make the move. Every time I try to think of a reason to the question; "Why not?" I can't. There's no room for me to be scared if I need my life to change, and if I wan't to experience new things.

What am I waiting for? Really, WHAT? So now I've decided to take actions towards making it possible. I might change my mind while looking into things, but I feel a desperate need to start doing something. It's going to take a while before I feel comfortable enough to really go through it because I have lot's of things that need to be planned carefully...for example things conserning my dogs.

Sure I'll miss a lot of things from Finland. My mom, brother and his family. But first and foremost my friends. Maybe I'll convince someone to move with me! Anyway I think I need to do this. I'm certain it's going to be really hard at first, but I truly miss the feeling when you start your life from the scratch...even going to a store to buy food is an experience at first. There will be lonely times, and lot's of tears. At the same time those are the things that will drive me forward, drive me towards new people, new life.

Everything can go horribly wrong, but because I know I'll always have a place to return to, people supporting me back home I feel comfortable doing it. The funny thing is that I don't even know where to start! What channel will I use...school, work, my sister(who lives in England) or what!? Where will I live, how will I find myself an apartment? Scary...but oh so exciting! It might take me two years to get there, but now I at least have a plan.

"24 and blooming like the fields of Maine
25 and yearning for a ticket out

dreams burn but in ashes are gold"

-Kings of Convenience, 24-25

Award

I'm having trouble sleeping, so I'll do this now. I got this "You are an awesome girl"-award from S.
Thank you, the day I saw this was a shitty one, so you made my day then!

This award means that I need to tell 10 interesting, or pointless things about myself. Let's see if I can come up with any. Here we go...

1. I just loooove to do Donal Duck jumps( the ones when you jump in the air and clap your feet together while in the air) I get this powerfull urge to do it few times a day...and usually I jump no matter where I am.

2. I talk to myself aloud while cooking.

3. I hate the way I walk.

4. I could spend a day at an airport easily. I'd just sit there and watch all the people coming and going. To me an airport is no-mans-land; place to be when you wan't to be a nobody. That's why I usually go there as early as possible before my flights departure time. And if I have the time I spend some time at the arrivals gate, watching the happy people meeting eachother at the gate.

5. I'm jealous to people who know what they wan't. Because I usually dont'...I'm just guessing all the time.

6. I use deadlines in my life. I had around ten of those untill I turned 24, so time is up for some of them now. I've made up around 5 new ones(so far)...they need to be done 'till I'm 30.

7. I'm really badly addicted to Battery energy drink. I get a Battery headackhe if I don't drink at least one of those everyday.

8. SHINY THINGS! Shine shine shine, glitter, gold,silver...if I didn't fear the fact that I'd get bored soon, I'd cover my home with shiny things.

9. From any hobbies that I can think of, my favourite one would be dancing...I suck at learning coreographies so I can't do it. I dance bymyself then!

10. I've promised myself a liposuction when I'm 30. Hopefully I won't need it. :D

I'll pass this award on to Kiiki. She's going through a rough time, so I wan't to cheer her up. No need to feel sad 'cause you are an awesome girl! We'll be seeing in October and have a blast...right?

Happy Birthday - To Me!

24...24 for is a good number. I've always had 24 as my lucky number, so maybe now after turning 24years old, life will bring new and good things for me! If this year of beeing 24 is anywhere near as good, as my b-day party I'll have the time of my life!

I got to stand under silver confetti falling from the sky, after I got a call to come down to the park. I got to have all my gorgeous friends with me, eating, drinking and laughing together. Perfection!

One of them stayed up partying with me untill 11am...it was mad but so much fun, you rule girl! Thank you to all of you who make my life feel like a party all the time!


And the gifts...WUHUU! After I got a shower of silver glitter falling on me, I got a ticket to Michael Jacksons Thriller Live consert in October!!! I lost words...they hit the nail with this one!!So so excited to go there, and I'll have the best company to go with. YEY!


Then I got gorgeous flowers, Salla sure knows which ones to buy every time.


Mango giftcard! I've wanted to go and find a new winter jacket, so now I know where to start looking first!


And look at these hahha What else could you expect from Marja. I love that monkey peeler, and now I'll never have a mushed banana in my bag again!


And...well...of course, Suffeli Puffi!! With a princess crown on top..great!


This b-day will keep me going for the whole year.THANK YOU!

Stop

It's time to take a brake and think a little. In my previous post, I talked about the importance of keeping myself busy. That wasn't a really good plan after all..my body gave me a big cold slap on the face this week.

I've had a pretty active and hectic summer, I've exercised more than usually (there's nothing else to do here) I've been busy doing something almost every weekend, and during the weeks I've stayed up really late ('till 3'o clock most nights) for no good reason and have consumed at least one energy drink everyday, many days two. Adding the stress with this plumming renovation, money problems, new job and few relationship problems, what do you get?
Well I got some heart problems...scary. Yesterday I went and had my heart and lungs checked.

For three days I had had pain in my chest, to the point that I couldn't sleep. The night before I went to the doctors I was sure that I'm going to die...I was sure I have cancer or at least some kind of horrible heart disease. After all the tests had been done, and they pretty much didn't find anything, I felt relieved and pissed off at the same time. There has to be something wrong with me if I feel these things!! But there isn't (thank god)..it's all in my head.

So people, before you get yourselves into this situation think hard about your life and the problems you have..are they really worth stressing about? Don't compare your life to someone else's, don't keep enemies just forget the people that make your life miserable. Don't panic over material things...believe that good thing come to good people. Take care of your self...don't exercise too much, only to make you feel better. Call your friends if you feel sad. Take one thing at a time as they come, you can't do everything at the same time so why bother stress about them all at the same time. Believe that life will carry you if you let it.

The doctor ordered me to rest for the rest of the week. I do feel better all ready, and am looking forward to my friends birthday party this weekend. I'm concentrating on that for now, trying not to think about anything else. Just trying to go with the flow and not worry about things that I can't do anything about. You do that too.